Almost forgot.

I want to go somewhere...
anywhere.

Well I guess that will come true in a couple of days when I leave for South Carolina, but I kind of just want to go somewhere and just be stress free for a few days.

That would be nice.

Friends...

I'm such a loser...
I need new friends, or just friends in general.
I am never making the mistake of losing my friends over a guy again...
and that was what... 3-4 yrs ago?
WOW...and I still really haven't made much progress in regaining friendships...
I must really suck.

Now I feel really low.
I have no friends, and my dad doesnt even enjoy spening time with me.

I'm such a winner.

Saying things... just to say them.

Do you ever feel like sometimes people just say things to you to get a rise out of you or just to upset you?
It really upsets me when my parents say things to me and it's like "Seriously!? What the hell would you say that for?!"
I feel like I'm going to be stuck as 14 yr old me as long as I live here, and then they say how responsible I am and "grown up" and mature, and what not and then I get treated like a 14 yr old. Actually my 14 yr old brother is allowed to do more than I am, which is a bit ridiculous.

And then tonight...
Okay a bit of background first off. My dad and I have gone to Lollapalooza together for the past 3 yrs together. Sort of a bonding thing so we dont slit each others throats for the next year. Well I was on the Lolla website last night and saw that Early Bird tickets go on sale March 31st, so tonight I told my dad that, and he was like "Eh, I thought you'd want to go with someone else, not me this year. I wasnt planning on going" And now I'm just really upset and crying...which I know is really stupid and all but it really upset me.

Honestly,
I'm not even allowed to spend the night out, let alone go to Chicago for Lollapalooza for a week. its just dumb and I'm pissed, I dont have anyone to go with anyways, I dont know who the hell he thought I'd get to go with me.

I'M FUCKING PISSED!

Well... all I know is I'm buying myself a ticket on March 31st, and I'll fucking go by myself. Fuck him, fine I'll just go alone I dont give a fuck.

GRRR....

Well before this all happened I was being productive.... Fuck that too.

Time For Change...

Okay so I have an idea...

Why cant we go back to bartering. I think thats a grand ole idea. Money is so over rated. I think we should jsut go back to tarding/bartering. That would be so awesome.

Let's consider that...OKAY!



Well Saturday I ran in my first ever race. I was supposed to do a 10K (6.2 miles), but after the 5K, my throat wanted to kill me. It felt/tasted like it was bleeding, and like I was going to cough blood. Not plesant, so I stoped after the 5K, with a 30'58''. I was pretty proud of myself. But I definately need to step it up if I plan on running at least a half marathon in May.



Then Sunday, I went for a 6.5 mile bike ride around the airport. It was so incredibly nice out, not too hot, not too cold, perfect for a nice long bike ride. I definately want to start doing that at least on a weekly basis.



I love being active, and this is probably why I enjoy spring so much, because you can get out and do whatever and just enjoy some sunshine and fresh air.



Well, I think I have done everything possible today to avoid doing my economics exam questions...which I REALLY should do.

Let's see...I've gone to the coffee shop, the bank, the library, the grocery store, the post office (which apparently I dont know how many stamps to but on the envelope), and worked on my resume.



Hmm...and now I'm writing a blog to avoid working on these economics problems. The thing is, I read them, and they make absolutely no sense. I'm not even sure what the questions are exactly. They are just really vague and unclear. I'll be so glad when this economics class is over, as much as I love economics (yes, I love economics), the teacher is a freakin' moron!



Oh yes, and I also finished watching W.

It was O.K. I think it was slightly over rated, and at times it felt incredibly drawn out. Thank goodness that idoit is finally out of office.



Off to economics problems...JOY!

Thursday Part 2

I should just keep my mouth shut...
When I start going off about things it just makes everything worse.

I want the world to just disappear.
I want to close my eyes
and open them to see nothing.

Too much to do and no motivation to do it.

Right now= super weird fucked up mood.

I feel like crap (physically).
I cannot focus no matter how hard I try.
I feel like I hate what I am right now.
I dont even know if I even know a word to explain my current mood other than completely disoriented.
I think I'm upset with myself, but the weird thing is, I dont even know.

Sigur Ros is amazing. Who doesnt love an Icelandic band. If you actually translate their songs, the lyrics are so poetic, and their voices are mezmorizing. I was talking about them at work the other day. Flipping through everything on my ipod this is the only thing that is helping to put me into a somewhat tranquil mood atleast.

I wish it were warm out...I'd love to just lay on the ground right now and look at the sky and just be...


Well, I think maybe Sigur Ros will help to focus me..I really need to write this research paper, and an economics paper...

I'll be so glad when Saturday comes around:
Run in a 10k, go to a techno thing, and then sleep in as late as I want on Sunday since apparently I never work anymore.

I need a new job.

Wow...

That's about all I can say...wow. If you would have told me this week was going to be like this last Saturday I probably would have said you were crazy. Wow. Don't you just love it when really random things happen and you think it's probably going to be some diaster, and it actually turns out to be totally awesome?! Sunday I basically went skiing with a complete stranger, a mutal friend hooked us up, and over the past week we've found out we have so much in common, and it's crazy. Haha, so much really random weird stuff was happening in my life and wow I met him... totally unexpected and sometimes... I think the things we dont seek and we aren't expecting turn out to be pretty awesome.

:)
Thats really about it...
I should blog more.